Back in high school, a girl on my track team used to have a saying, “no touchy, touchy”. However to really get the full affect and authenticity, you need to imagine a sassy petite who would pout out her lips, put one hand on her hip, and use the other hand to wave her finger at you, while saying “no touchy, touchy!”, in her version of an Italian accent. The saying, along with accent and attitude, became a standing inside joke between my friends and me. Every once in awhile, I still bust out the saying just for good humor. And now, as a pregnant woman, I think it is the PERFECT phrase (accent & attitude included) to ward off the dreaded belly touching.
Belly touching. Just the thought makes me cringe. Is that horrible to say? I’m not sure but I do know that I am usually a brutally honest person so I can’t lie. I don’t like people touching my belly. I have said this for many years before I was pregnant and now that I am pregnant, it still rings true for me. The idea of people groping at my stomach gives me a slight shudder. I even get the urge to slap or dodge the incoming hand. If I manage to fight that urge, then the hand always lingers … longer than tolerable.
I for one have never had the urge to touch someone’s pregnant belly. What makes that an acceptable thing? I get it, there is a baby inside there but that’s kind of my point. INSIDE there! It’s still my stomach. But, I realize I don’t speak for every pregnant woman out there. Chrissy Teigen just announced her pregnancy with the words “I look forward to all the belly touching”. Even though those words horrified me, I know that some people do have a completely opposite view of what I consider the ominous hands coming towards me.
Some people have told me that once the baby gets bigger, it feels less and less like people are touching your belly and more like they are touching the baby. I can only hope I start feeling this way. Right now, it’s still crazy to see ultrasounds of the baby. I don’t necessarily feel like she is inside me. I realize I am just biding my time though. Soon, I will balloon up and there will be no denying that there is a little baby in there. Hopefully then, I will welcome the belly touching. Ok, ‘welcome’ may be a little strong of a leap but at least I could avoid the awkward urge to duck away and instead manage a half smile.
BUT in the meantime, I wish I could bottle up my high school track teammate and pop her out whenever a looming hand comes my direction. “No touchy, touchy!”. So for now let this serve as my personal PSA: don’t touch the belly unless you make my “short list”. And right now, Darren is the SOLE name on that list!